The Daily Joe, August 19
It's Monday! Yes, I took a small break from blogging. I had to meet my deadline...and then I was just sort of, kind of dead. Brain dead, that is. But I'm back. One of the hardest lessons I've learned about blogging over the past years is taking a break is fatal. It's so hard to come back. So I have to keep my breaks short.
And so here I am.
Today, is one of those brain musing days. So...why is it that women love the alpha male? In particular, in books.
Honestly, it's because they're hard to come by anymore.
I'm going to stop right here for just a moment and say this: This has been an incredibly difficult post to write because it can go volatile fast. So... If you're a man reading this and you are not as I describe below, then this is not about you. Don't take it personally. No need to be offended in any way. If you are a woman who is fortunate enough that your man isn't the man-child I describe, you're very lucky and I'm very happy for you. This is also not about your guy. And if you're the type of feminist who gets offended by alpha male behavior, you probably shouldn't be reading this anyway because I'm talking about the alpha male phenomena in romance novels.
And damn it, now I have to add another caveat. I am all for feminism and I think it can go hand in hand with the alpha male (he'd appreciate that). The feminist movement is one of the boons of our lifetime and I would never disparage it. It is because of that movement that we women have the rights we do now. If you think feminism is all about man-hating, then you're wrong. But this post isn't about that.
And caveat three (or is it six? I've lost count), I think men are great. I don't hate men. But I can recognize some destructive behaviors.
So...the alpha male...
A cursory internet search will tell you it's because he's the leader of the pack with nothing to prove. He would be the winner in all battles. He's the most virile. He's a leader to follow.
All true, but I think it's that and a little bit more.
He's confident. He's brave. He's dominant. He's relatively calm and decisive. He's protective and wants to take care of his woman.
Oooooh! Ding ding ding!! It's that last one.
We live in the era of the man child. How many times have you heard women joke/not joke about their husband being their extra child? It's because modern civilization is rife with man-children. This is men who can't or won't fend themselves, much less their women. They refuse to make their own appointments or make phone calls. They haven't learned to somehow control their emotions and and reactions. An example would be the guy often yelling at his video games or the person who had the gall to interrupt him. Playtime, whatever its form is more important than domestic responsibility. It doesn't always stem to work, but sometimes, the woman of the family is the breadwinner then comes home to do everything that needs doing in the household because her man child won't.
This, quite frankly, is the core of why BDSM books, in particular Fifty Shades of Grey soared up the charts. It wasn't because it was spectacular (I'm not knocking the book; I'm just using it as a marker). It was because women are drawn to that character type--and not necessarily to the BDSM. They want someone dominant and self-assured. Someone who will take care of them for once because they're pretty sick of having to be ON all the time. Someone who will take charge of something and give them a break. Someone who worries about them and thinks about them while they're apart, and someone who pays attention to them when they're together.
In the real world, some of the alphas in romance novels would be the type we'd run from as fast as possible and then get a restraining order against. But after a day of work, taking care of the house and taking care of everyone else in the household, the men in romance novels are spot on to where many women want to be. Instead of yelling at the heroine to run, they're saying: Christian Grey, Take me AWAY!
Today, August 19, 2019
Well, I'm writing this pretty late in the day, so it's less of my plans than usual.
Before the end of the evening, I'll be finishing the next chapter of the Billionaire's Beautiful Runaway, the 2nd book in the Billionaire Brothers: The Malloys series that I'm writing with Dakota Rebel.
I spent a great deal of time linking my books on Book + Main (also known as Book Bites) today. I will be posting teasers and excerpts over there pretty much every day. You should follow me there to get looks inside my books and maybe some exclusive content, too. Also, a week from this Wednesday, I'll be choosing a winner from my followers there and awarding a $10 Amazon Gift Card. If you want a chance...cruise on over there and follow me.
Since my last Daily Joe, The Problem With Billionaires released. Did you get yours? It's gotten great reception, including that it's several people's top read of 2019. If you want to see what people are on about, it's available on Kindle, Nook, Kobo and iTunes. I also plan to release the print version within the next two weeks.
Have a great evening! Talk to you soon.